Monday, April 30, 2007

New Things

So, lots of updates today..I didn't realize I'd been such a blog-slacker these days. Needless to say, I survived last weekend with both girls while hubby was at a conference. And to top it all off, Baby E got her first 2 teeth while he was gone!! Yup, 2 at the same time...lots of slobbery fussiness to go around, but when they broke the skin, all was well with the world again..Well, almost..

The same weekend hubby was gone, our home pc died. I mean really Died. Like won't even turn on. My mom found out about this, and as hubby's b-day was April 27th, she offered to give us a joint b-day present (even though mine's not until July): a NEW COMPUTER!! Seriously!! A brand new Dell, with all the works! I don't know where *this* mother came from, because she's never done anything like this before, but it TOTALLY kicks the ass of the $50 b-day check and card my mother-in-law sent my husband!

And count them - not one but two - family vacations planned! At the end of May we're taking a road trip back to home state (6 hours). Then, catching a ride with my mom the following day to head to Missouri (7 hours) for my cousin's graduation. Let's see, the cast of this road trip includes: Me, hubby, 8-yr old H, 6-month old Baby E, and my Mom! My uncle has said this will be an EPIC adventure. Luckily, my mom drives an oversized mini-vanish kind of thing, a Terraza, complete w/DVD player and plenty of room for us to stretch, etc. The 2nd vacation is for the first week of July. We'll be back in home state again for a week, and while we're there, hubby and I are taking H on a river float trip! I'm soooo excited about this! I haven't been since I was 21...and believe me, I was a very different person at 21! They've since banned alcohol on the river, so I'm hoping it will be a much more family friendly atmosphere. And, since I'm no longer the rough-it-in-a-tent-in-the-middle-of-July kind of girl, we'll be renting a small cabin that has air conditioning so that we can survive the nights. My mom is going to watch the baby for the 2 nights/3 days we'll be gone, and it will take place on the 4th of July holiday, so lots of fireworks, fishing, cookouts, etc. will be taking place, and hubby and I will get some much needed "fun" time together.

We're getting a head start on the "fun" time though. Since he and H were gone again this weekend for the last of the Princess Guide daddy-daughter camp-outs, I've demanded some alone time with him! We've arranged for a babysitter for this Saturday night, and we're going out for Cinco de Mayo drinks, appetizers, and a movie! I'm especially looking forward to it because it will initiate my new pill cycle..."What's that" you ask?? Welll......

I recently found out that the birth control pill I've been taking since Baby E was about 6 weeks old was responsible for my loss of libido, hair loss, and mild depression!! Oodles of fun I tell ya! Yes, I kept wondering when I'd feel "that way" again. I kept chalking up my non-interest to being tired, being stressed, or any number of other things. I never thought that my BC could be to blame. And when I asked my hair stylist about the hair loss, she just said that if hair was falling out, that meant new hair was growing in..I was puzzled by this, especially since the clumps of hair that came out while I was washing & conditioning my hair were fairly significant. But, I had no other ideas for the cause, so I just let it go. And the depression. Yeah, once again, I just chalked it up to all the other things going on in my life: diss work, busy time of child's school year, tiredness, stressful funding failures, etc.

Nope. It was the damn Yasmin! I did some research and found out that it contains the highest amounts of anti-androgens of any bc pill on the market!! AKA: it kills the testosterone that gives you a sex drive! The research also revealed other reports of hair loss, depression, etc. (some women reported suicidal thoughts even!) Needless to say, I was just glad to have an answer, and I immediately called my dr. to get the pill switched --whew.

New computer. New pill. New child care for baby. New summer schedule for H coming up soon. And I'm hoping for some new alone time with hubby.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Child care (again), Just the Girls, and Pity Parties

This post should really be divided into The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

The Good
Hubby and I got a call last week from a Montessori for which Baby E has been on the waiting list. They have an opening next month, so we'll be switching into a program that has only 6 babies in the infant room - yay! This is especially good b/c I've noticed lately this one infant at her current daycare, who shall I say...dominating the arms of the caregivers. This infant is older than mine, old enough to be standing up and taking steps while she holds on to something. She's a cute baby and all, but she's an only baby, and it's obvious that her parents have nothing in the world to do except hold her when she's at home. I say obvious b/c that's what she expects to happen while she's at daycare. If she isn't being held (by the teacher, the aide, or even ME!..she constantly comes crawling up to me, trying to get me to pick her up), she is crying - no tears mind you - or misbehaving in order to get some attention.

The workers have talked to the mother and explained that they can't possibly hold her the entire time she's at daycare, and they've suggested that she work with them to help get her child used to independent play for more than like, 5 seconds. However, the mother seems to be ignoring this advice and the effects of her child's behavior on other babies in the room. I guess I have no real point, except that I really look forward to things being better at the montessori, and by better I mean that I hope my baby gets a little more snuggly time of her own!

The Bad
Hubby is going out of town this weekend for a conference, so I'll have both girls on my own -- yikes! I've been a single mom before, but that was back when I only had one child. I'm completely dreading the Friday morning get-both-girls-out-the-door-and-get-to-work-on-time challenge. In addition, H (my 8 yr. old) has soccer practice on Thursday evening, a soccer game on Saturday morning, and I don't even want to think about how I might get everyone up and ready for church on Sunday morning. The fun doesn't stop there folks.... Hubby is going away again next weekend, this time with H, for another daddy/daughter camp out (last one for the season), leaving me home again with Baby E. Less stressful, sure, but still -- can I get a weekend?? Hell, I'd settle for a day just to myself. Am I a horrible selfish person for wanting this??

The Ugly
I didn't get two of the departmental fellowships I applied for, and I completely freaked out. Sobbing tears in my committee chair's office.. Ugly face cry. Ugly voice words.. Long story short, she helped me get over it, and I'm better... for now. I applied for another (non-department) award, and I'm hoping that I fare better with it, as preference isn't given to those who are well into drafting or who are almost done drafting the dissertation. Rather, the winners are chosen almost entirely based on the quality of their proposal (Interesting? Of the moment? Free of jargon? Clearly grounded in the humanities? Interdisciplinarity helps too).

I just realized that I don't take losing well. At all. I don't want to be "one of the best" students my advisor has worked with, I want to be "THE best." When I told my mom this, she sighed heavily, sounding completely exhausted with me. I told her, "I would think you'd be proud to have a child who wants to be the best..who isn't happy to settle for second-best." She said, "I want a child who doesn't give herself ulcers worrying about being The best." I kinda see her point, but that didn't make me feel better. And, as much as I want to throw myself a pity party, I don't know that that would make me feel better either. I'm not sure what would.

Also ugly
The fact that I have childen growing up in a culture that ignorantly clings to the right to bear arms while people die in senseless violent acts like the one that took place at Virginia Tech yestserday. I hunt. I come from a hunting family. But we don't live in the world where hunting rifles are only used for hunting. We pour money into the war on drugs, we pour mone into the fight against illegal immigration, yet we've done nothing to stop the rise of a gun-based culture of violence that takes more and more innocent lives every year. How stupid are we?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Kids Say the Darndest Things

It's been a hellish week in terms of work schedule and deadlines, so this will be a brief post with more to come later. For now, I leave you with the funny story of a child who watches too much t.v. advertising.

Last night, as I lay down for a few minutes with my oldest daughter at bedtime, she says in the dark: "I have Restless Leg Syndrome. Can I please have some Equip?"

Just what the drug companies are looking for: an 8-yr old hypochondriac!

Monday, April 02, 2007

For the love of....!

"To err is human -- but it feels divine" -- Mae West

For the love of everything Holy, I swear that I'm stuck next to the loudest possible woman in the world across the hall!! I'm in my primary office - a.k.a. the Dissertation Hovel - and there is a senior lecturer across the hall whose voice is unbearably loud and unnecessarily sticky with niceties. I'm sure she's genuine and all, and I'm equally sure she'd consider lowering her voice if I mentioned it to her, but I'd never do it. She just doesn't realize that our walls aren't really walls, but merely paper-thin divider thingies. They're just enough to block "normal -people" voices, but they're no match for Mrs. Loud Nicey-Nice. I seriously can't focus when she's conferencing with a student or talking w/another colleague....Arggghhh...unfocusable (yes, I made up a word) dissertation work makes me cranky!