I have a question for people who would consider themselves practicing Christians. It really doesn't matter which denomination (I don't think). Let's say you have, as part of your regular prayer list, a section for People Who Don't Know Christ. What does this mean, exactly?
I ask because it appears that Hubby and I have landed on this section of someone's prayer list, and we're not sure why. We go to church, we actively look for opportunities to be involved in church and the community, we teach our children about God and prayer, and we genuinely believe in Christ and do our best to live according to basic Christian principles: love people, love God. The person who put us on their list is a relative of mine and knows these things about us, so we're both a bit confused and slightly hurt that this person is under the impression that we don't know Christ. I'm sure the intentions were completely good and that it can't hurt to have someone praying on your behalf.....but what does it mean?
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Good Stuff
I'm sure I'm late to the party here, but I thought I'd give a book recommendation for anyone still doing some late summer reading. My mother strongly urged me to read Stockett's The Help, and after hearing all the hype in print, I decided to check it out. While I can see why it appealed to popular culture, it is not The Great First Book that I had hoped it would be. It's a mediocre book, and the author frequently slips in the language when she writes as a black woman. She gets it right and gets it best when he writes as Skeeter, and I hope Stockett can come to that realization and improve her writing as a result.
Anywho, the writer I stumbled upon and fell in love with is Chris Cleaves. I started with his second novel, Little Bee, which is not at all something I'd normally pick up.
I was suckered in by the back cover, which teased me by not revealing anything other than this was a story of two women from completely different worlds, whose lives became inextricably intertwinged (in a way that was NOT a love story). I won't say anything else except that you should read it. It's moving, relevant, painful, and hopeful all at once. It's great writing and an even better story.
Again, not something I would have been interested in, but I'd already developed a trust in Cleave, and he didn't disappoint. The story of a British woman who lost her husband and son in a terrorist attack, it's an epistolary novel full of humour, wit, and a search for sanity in an insane world. I think I'm largely drawn to the writing because it's set in London, and I adore the narrator's voice. How Cleave writes so well in a "female" voice is an altogether different matter worth further discussion and study.
So, if you're looking for good reads, these two are infinitely better than The Help.
Anywho, the writer I stumbled upon and fell in love with is Chris Cleaves. I started with his second novel, Little Bee, which is not at all something I'd normally pick up.
I was suckered in by the back cover, which teased me by not revealing anything other than this was a story of two women from completely different worlds, whose lives became inextricably intertwinged (in a way that was NOT a love story). I won't say anything else except that you should read it. It's moving, relevant, painful, and hopeful all at once. It's great writing and an even better story.
Once I found how much I liked Cleave, I picked up his first book, Incendiary.
Again, not something I would have been interested in, but I'd already developed a trust in Cleave, and he didn't disappoint. The story of a British woman who lost her husband and son in a terrorist attack, it's an epistolary novel full of humour, wit, and a search for sanity in an insane world. I think I'm largely drawn to the writing because it's set in London, and I adore the narrator's voice. How Cleave writes so well in a "female" voice is an altogether different matter worth further discussion and study.
So, if you're looking for good reads, these two are infinitely better than The Help.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Stuff in My Head
I'm sure nobody really cares, but I have several new posts running around in my head:
- the repatriation process and its challenges
- the new house and ALL the things that need to be done with it
- New England living
- making friends
- getting older
- going on the job market again this year
I'm hoping I'll get time to write more, but next week brings the imperative to finish revisions to my article. The following week brings a day surgery for me and Hannah's return from Home State, where she's been visiting grandparents and her biological dad. The week after that brings my Mom's first visit to our new house--so excited for that! Then, we're head to Ocean City, N.J. for another vacation at the shore, where Hubby's parents have a house and his aunts and cousins are also renting a place for the same week. Then school starts...ZOMG at some point I'm supposed to have two syllabi ready to go. Yeah, so don't know when I'll have the time to do anything again, but I'll try.
- the repatriation process and its challenges
- the new house and ALL the things that need to be done with it
- New England living
- making friends
- getting older
- going on the job market again this year
I'm hoping I'll get time to write more, but next week brings the imperative to finish revisions to my article. The following week brings a day surgery for me and Hannah's return from Home State, where she's been visiting grandparents and her biological dad. The week after that brings my Mom's first visit to our new house--so excited for that! Then, we're head to Ocean City, N.J. for another vacation at the shore, where Hubby's parents have a house and his aunts and cousins are also renting a place for the same week. Then school starts...ZOMG at some point I'm supposed to have two syllabi ready to go. Yeah, so don't know when I'll have the time to do anything again, but I'll try.
Friday, July 22, 2011
A Room of One's Own...Outside the Home
We've been in our house almost three weeks now, and last week was the first week we started working on our own stuff (article revision for me, HR stuff and office move-in for Hubby). After more than a month of being with the kids, primarily Eliza and Amelia, I was anxious for some quality time with my work. I was excited to return to some sense of normalcy, something that resembles a schedule. The first thought in my head last Monday morning was, "I can't wait to get to the office!" And then it hit me: I don't have an office to go to. Not one on a school campus anyway. For the first time in 10 years of teaching at the university-level, I do not have an official work space of my own .
Even though I had previously always shared an office with one other person (sometimes two), rarely was I ever in the office with an officemate at the same time. I've always treated my job as a regular 9:00-5:00 gig, which isn't terribly common for many graduate students. I've never enjoyed working at home because I'm tempted to do "home things" like fold laundry, clean the kitched, put away dishes, etc. I also don't like the idea of having home/family and work in the same physical space. I function much better at both when I have a separate space of my own in which I can work.
But now, this isn't an option. New England School puts 5-6 visiting lecturers in one large office area for the purpose of meeting with students, etc. I have no idea what this space looks like, or if people are given a desk of their own. Either way, the space is not meant to be a work space for people doing research or writing.
What I have is our fourth bedroom at home, which will serve as my home office. We've bought a futon, mattress, and bedding to use when we have guests, and the room is large enough that neither my work space nor the guest space will feel too cramped if someone is visiting. The guest space aspect is great, but I'm feeling odd and uncomfortable about a home office as my work space. I've never done this before. I almost feel confined and isolated, and it's really unclear how this will work with our plan to carpool together to campus. We're trying to save money on gas, but if my time between classes is the primary time I have to get work done, I don't know how I'll do it on campus. Hubby and I have already planned on sharing his campus office to some extent, but again, I don't know how well that will work either. We both have very different work habits (for example, he listens to music, while I need silence to concentrate).
There's just so much uncertainty about how this will work out, and I don't do well with uncertainty. Does anyone? The best I can do for now is get started on rennovating the room. Just like all the other rooms in the house (except the kitchen), it has awful wallpaper (though I've almost gotten it all stripped down). Once I finish stripping the first layer, I'll take off the second layer, prep, tape, and primer the walls, then paint. I'm thinking of going with this color:
Even though I had previously always shared an office with one other person (sometimes two), rarely was I ever in the office with an officemate at the same time. I've always treated my job as a regular 9:00-5:00 gig, which isn't terribly common for many graduate students. I've never enjoyed working at home because I'm tempted to do "home things" like fold laundry, clean the kitched, put away dishes, etc. I also don't like the idea of having home/family and work in the same physical space. I function much better at both when I have a separate space of my own in which I can work.
But now, this isn't an option. New England School puts 5-6 visiting lecturers in one large office area for the purpose of meeting with students, etc. I have no idea what this space looks like, or if people are given a desk of their own. Either way, the space is not meant to be a work space for people doing research or writing.
What I have is our fourth bedroom at home, which will serve as my home office. We've bought a futon, mattress, and bedding to use when we have guests, and the room is large enough that neither my work space nor the guest space will feel too cramped if someone is visiting. The guest space aspect is great, but I'm feeling odd and uncomfortable about a home office as my work space. I've never done this before. I almost feel confined and isolated, and it's really unclear how this will work with our plan to carpool together to campus. We're trying to save money on gas, but if my time between classes is the primary time I have to get work done, I don't know how I'll do it on campus. Hubby and I have already planned on sharing his campus office to some extent, but again, I don't know how well that will work either. We both have very different work habits (for example, he listens to music, while I need silence to concentrate).
There's just so much uncertainty about how this will work out, and I don't do well with uncertainty. Does anyone? The best I can do for now is get started on rennovating the room. Just like all the other rooms in the house (except the kitchen), it has awful wallpaper (though I've almost gotten it all stripped down). Once I finish stripping the first layer, I'll take off the second layer, prep, tape, and primer the walls, then paint. I'm thinking of going with this color:
Sunday, July 17, 2011
New England Town
We're here! We moved in July 8th, and we've been unpacking boxes, buying new stuff for the house, and getting estimates on plumbing, electrical, and carprentry work. I've already got my new state driver's license, and Eliza and I both have library cards for the public library (she's plowed through the 10 books we took out this past Monday). The move-in had a small hitch, with the movers first being unable to get the headboard for our new bed up the stairs. The next morning, the furniture company sent a new crew, who got it in through the window on the second floor. Unfortunately, once they set up the bed, I noticed where the first movers put two sizeable dents and scratches in the footboard. Another call to the furniture company and two days later, we had a new footboard. Seriously, this is THE most comfortable mattress I've ever slept on! So comfortable that many nights, I go to sleep and don't wake up until it's actually morning! I don't remember the last time that happened.
We've had a few surprises with the electrical work. The original plan was for my brother-in-law, who is an electrician, to drive up and replace the knob and tube wiring in the attic and basement. He's working 7 days a week right now, so that's not going to be an option anytime soon, but if we want to keep the same insurance company, we have to make the repairs in the next few weeks. We ultimately decided to solve the problem by simply changing insurance companies, especially once we found out that knob and tube wiring is really common in the old houses here and that there's no fire danger. Eventually, if we decide to stay long term that is, we'll get it replaced.
Not one, two, or three, but FOUR window A/C units later, our house is comfortably cool. More expensive than what I'd budgeted, but since we're not buying anymore living room furniture, we were able to cover it just fine. I was also able to get a new, stainless steel Frigidaire Professional refrigerator on sale for $999 (regularly $1,599). Under budget there as well, so I went ahead and splurged on this new stainless steel Weber grill!
It's so beautiful! I've never had a nice grill before, and I can't wait to start cooking on it because the weather here is beyond amazing in the summertime. Seriously, the other day it never got above 90 degrees. A gentle shower in the morning cools it off for the rest of the day, and I could sit outside forever.
We've started working on the Wallpaper Nightmare that exists in every room of the house except the kitchen. We're taking out of the little girls' room first and hoping that the job won't take too long now that we have a good solution that you roll onto the walls. I'm also in Contact Paper Hell, with the ugly, dirty stuff all over the kitchen cabinets and drawers. I'm almost finished ripping it all up, but gawd it's been a tedious chore.
I forgot how much work it is to own a home...I also forgot how much of a joy it is! How much pleasure I take in knowing that it's ours and we can do whatever we want to with it. Knowing that we're going to take care of our new home and make it beautiful fills me with such an immense happiness. Of course, so does the fact that I can get a bottle of wine at the store anytime I like :) We stll have a lot of work to do, but it doesn't have to be done overnight. Right now, I'm looking forward to getting back into some sort of routine that allows me to get some work done, as I still have an article due August 15th and two course syllabi to prepare. No rest for the weary, right?
We've had a few surprises with the electrical work. The original plan was for my brother-in-law, who is an electrician, to drive up and replace the knob and tube wiring in the attic and basement. He's working 7 days a week right now, so that's not going to be an option anytime soon, but if we want to keep the same insurance company, we have to make the repairs in the next few weeks. We ultimately decided to solve the problem by simply changing insurance companies, especially once we found out that knob and tube wiring is really common in the old houses here and that there's no fire danger. Eventually, if we decide to stay long term that is, we'll get it replaced.
Not one, two, or three, but FOUR window A/C units later, our house is comfortably cool. More expensive than what I'd budgeted, but since we're not buying anymore living room furniture, we were able to cover it just fine. I was also able to get a new, stainless steel Frigidaire Professional refrigerator on sale for $999 (regularly $1,599). Under budget there as well, so I went ahead and splurged on this new stainless steel Weber grill!
It's so beautiful! I've never had a nice grill before, and I can't wait to start cooking on it because the weather here is beyond amazing in the summertime. Seriously, the other day it never got above 90 degrees. A gentle shower in the morning cools it off for the rest of the day, and I could sit outside forever.
We've started working on the Wallpaper Nightmare that exists in every room of the house except the kitchen. We're taking out of the little girls' room first and hoping that the job won't take too long now that we have a good solution that you roll onto the walls. I'm also in Contact Paper Hell, with the ugly, dirty stuff all over the kitchen cabinets and drawers. I'm almost finished ripping it all up, but gawd it's been a tedious chore.
I forgot how much work it is to own a home...I also forgot how much of a joy it is! How much pleasure I take in knowing that it's ours and we can do whatever we want to with it. Knowing that we're going to take care of our new home and make it beautiful fills me with such an immense happiness. Of course, so does the fact that I can get a bottle of wine at the store anytime I like :) We stll have a lot of work to do, but it doesn't have to be done overnight. Right now, I'm looking forward to getting back into some sort of routine that allows me to get some work done, as I still have an article due August 15th and two course syllabi to prepare. No rest for the weary, right?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Updates: The Short Version
The hitch was unhitched, and we closed today! Hubby is in New England Town and just finished closing...we're officially homeowners!
This is a huge relief for me, especially, because I've been going back and forth with the underwriter for more than a week, running and jumping, scanning and e-mailing all sorts of documents every time she called. I've had the two little ones on my own at my in-laws home, while trying to get through jet lag, no routine for the kids, and way too much stuff to do.
While there, however, we had some quality time with family at the shore and at a river-side beach resort, where Hubby's aunt served up some fresh Maryland steamed crabs drenched with Old Bay--ZOMG they were so delicious! Eliza got to play with her cousins, and she couldn't get enough. She literally followed her older cousin around everywhere she went. Hubby and hid dad successfully got All The Things We Left Behind moved into storage in New England Town (NET), and made it back safely. The girls were very happy to see their Daddy again, and so was I. Once he got back, I was finally able to have a tiny bit of time to myself (pedicure+hair appointment=one happy AcadeMama).
The drive from Hubby's hometown to NET wasn't bad at all, but living out of a suitcase has defnitely gotten old. Staying in hotel rooms for many nights with a 4-year old and 2-year old has gotten even older! They're like stir-crazed, caged animals...playing with the phone, the radio, the remote, and everything else they can get their hands on. Not listening to either of us and generally running amuck despite all our efforts to keep them occupied.
Luckily, we leave for Disney tomorrow. Hubby and the littles fly out from Big New England Town, and Hannah and I fly out of Home State, with all of us meeting in Orlando. It's beyond wonderful that we'll get to go with the home closing out of the way. I firmly plan on enjoying every second of our time there!
All in all, everything has thus far worked out someway or another. We're all set with movers scheduled to move everything in the day after we get back from Disney, and then we'll have some serious unpacking, settling in, and decorating to do!
This is a huge relief for me, especially, because I've been going back and forth with the underwriter for more than a week, running and jumping, scanning and e-mailing all sorts of documents every time she called. I've had the two little ones on my own at my in-laws home, while trying to get through jet lag, no routine for the kids, and way too much stuff to do.
While there, however, we had some quality time with family at the shore and at a river-side beach resort, where Hubby's aunt served up some fresh Maryland steamed crabs drenched with Old Bay--ZOMG they were so delicious! Eliza got to play with her cousins, and she couldn't get enough. She literally followed her older cousin around everywhere she went. Hubby and hid dad successfully got All The Things We Left Behind moved into storage in New England Town (NET), and made it back safely. The girls were very happy to see their Daddy again, and so was I. Once he got back, I was finally able to have a tiny bit of time to myself (pedicure+hair appointment=one happy AcadeMama).
The drive from Hubby's hometown to NET wasn't bad at all, but living out of a suitcase has defnitely gotten old. Staying in hotel rooms for many nights with a 4-year old and 2-year old has gotten even older! They're like stir-crazed, caged animals...playing with the phone, the radio, the remote, and everything else they can get their hands on. Not listening to either of us and generally running amuck despite all our efforts to keep them occupied.
Luckily, we leave for Disney tomorrow. Hubby and the littles fly out from Big New England Town, and Hannah and I fly out of Home State, with all of us meeting in Orlando. It's beyond wonderful that we'll get to go with the home closing out of the way. I firmly plan on enjoying every second of our time there!
All in all, everything has thus far worked out someway or another. We're all set with movers scheduled to move everything in the day after we get back from Disney, and then we'll have some serious unpacking, settling in, and decorating to do!
Monday, June 13, 2011
A Hitch in the Housing Process
After endless documents requested, sent, signed, etc., I woke up to find an e-mail from our mortgage lender indicating that my employment letter from New England School is not sufficient for the underwriters. Even though it clearly indicates that I'm employed for the next year and provides my salary amount, the underwriters don't see it as a guarantee of employment. Instead, they want a contract, like what Hubby has. Well, guess what? Hubby is tenure-track faculty, so he gets a contract in the spring. Me? Not so much.
When I visited NES in April, the person I spoke with in HR explained that the contracts for Visiting Lecturers don't usually go out until late-July or early-August (typical for academia). However, the lender asked me to "reach out" to my boss and ask if I could get my contract earlier than this. I explained that I would try, but that I very much doubt she'll have any authority over when HR can issue contracts.
Can I just say how humiliating this all feels? I'm stuck in a helpless position, having to hope, beg, and plead with an employer who, as of yet, has no relationship with me at all. They don't know me, and they have no obligation to care whether or not my family has a home to live in. But, it's really completely in their hands. I get the distinct impression from our lender that, if I can't come up with a contract, we will not get this house.
Adding to this utterly depressing and frustrating development is the time zone factor. That is, since we're 7 hours ahead of EST, I wake up to this e-mail and then sit and wait for 7 hours before I can even put in a phone call to NES and see where they stand on the whole contract issue. An. Agonizing. Seven. Hours. During which time, all I want to do is cry.
Really? I could be fucking homeless for the entire summer? This is what I have to look forward to? My nerves are shot and now, so is my spirit.
When I visited NES in April, the person I spoke with in HR explained that the contracts for Visiting Lecturers don't usually go out until late-July or early-August (typical for academia). However, the lender asked me to "reach out" to my boss and ask if I could get my contract earlier than this. I explained that I would try, but that I very much doubt she'll have any authority over when HR can issue contracts.
Can I just say how humiliating this all feels? I'm stuck in a helpless position, having to hope, beg, and plead with an employer who, as of yet, has no relationship with me at all. They don't know me, and they have no obligation to care whether or not my family has a home to live in. But, it's really completely in their hands. I get the distinct impression from our lender that, if I can't come up with a contract, we will not get this house.
Adding to this utterly depressing and frustrating development is the time zone factor. That is, since we're 7 hours ahead of EST, I wake up to this e-mail and then sit and wait for 7 hours before I can even put in a phone call to NES and see where they stand on the whole contract issue. An. Agonizing. Seven. Hours. During which time, all I want to do is cry.
Really? I could be fucking homeless for the entire summer? This is what I have to look forward to? My nerves are shot and now, so is my spirit.
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