Monday, October 12, 2009


Another week went dramatically downhill after I messed up the account number on a $5,000 wire transfer, trying to get money from our US account to our new account in Doha. The advice I was given by the US bank's rep was to simply "change" the account number online. Yeah, well, that duplicated the wire request, and POOF-- $10,000 was in cyberspace limbo.

Fast forward to today...I'm home sick. Nothing serious, just a cold and general tiredness. I have tons of papers to grade, so I figured staying home might help me get caught up. However, I've realized two things. One, I'm always tempted to do "home" things rather than "work" things when at home (cook, clean, etc.). Two, this isn't home. Even though it's the space I am sharing with my husband and three children, where we eat at least two meals almost every day at the dining room table, where we will all come closer together as we make it through the next 21 months--this is not home. There's just something empty in the marble floors, vast quiet (since the kids are at school and daycare), and infinite summer outside my windows. It makes me feel like a stranger in the house, like I shouldn't be here while the family who lives here isn't home. I tried lighting a Fall Harvest-scented candle to trick myself into a little bit more comfort, but it isn't really working.

From now on, there will be no more working from "home".

1 comment:

M said...

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I can say that it took a while for our house in CU Land to feel like home, but gradually it has felt more and more like home. I imagine that these sorts of feelings might take longer for you to develop as you are living in a house that you didn't choose with out many of your things. I am hopeful for you, though, that the more memories you make there--seeing the girls play, watch the baby crawl and take her first steps there, and other things--the more it will feel like home.