What a Dork

As if my last post didn't out me as a complete dork for not having had an iPod, this one surely will do the trick. I have an orthodontic appointment on Tuesday to get fitted for braces. Yes, braces. As in, the ones that go on the teeth of a teenager, except that I'm 31-years old.

You see, I had a baby tooth - the upper-right canine - which didn't come out as it was supposed to. Not to be delayed, the permanent tooth grew right in above it, making itself quite at home and leaving me looking like a human can opener. I was horrified by the dental nightmare taking place before me during my middle-school years. Kids are awful by that age, and nobody hesitated to call me "vampire" or some other hideous name. Eventually, the permanent tooth kicked the baby tooth out and took sole reign of the gumline. This wasn't any better, however, as it lingered there prominently. An eye sore all in its own right. Until, that is....until my mom married my stepdad, who's a pharmacist. Her new..ahem, financial situation allowed for the expense of finally - FINALLY - getting the monstrosity extracted. Once it was pulled out, I was thrillled! My smile almost looked kinda normal, but with a little gap off to the side. Even then, the high school hellions couldn't resist. They wanted to know where the "beast" was. Did I have it mounted? They suggested I drill a hole in it and wear it on a necklace around my neck as if it were a trophy from some big kill in the African Sahara. [Can you tell high school sucked for me?]

I trooped on through life, gap and all, always a bit self-conscious every time I smiled. I even forgot about it most of the time, until I'd see a picture of myself. A picture of me is a rare occasion, though...Once I became a mom, pictures of me pretty much went away. But even now, when I see a picture that I'm in, the hole in my toothline is the first thing I notice (unless I'm not wearing makeup or I'm having a bad hair day).

So, upon my discovery that our graduate student dental plan actually includes orthodontic coverage for ADULTS, I couldn't help but wonder....Does this mean I might be able to afford braces?? Finally?? Hubby and I talked about it, and he absolutely understands how much it means to me. The plan has a flat price that you pay, which is $2100 for adults...Not bad at all compared to the $3500-$5000 we'd be looking at if I didn't have the coverage. The orthodontist has payment plans, but I think we'll pay for the whole thing at once (courtesy of the Fall financial aid refund, of course).

Is this bad? Am I a horribly vain person for wanting this so much? Am I a making an incredibly stupid financial decision to use financial aid for this purpose? This is the only time in my adult life that I've *EVER* seen orthodontic coverage for adults, so I don't get the impression that we'll get this opportunity later. I still feel guilty, though, thinking about what "emergency" we could use that money for later. We'll have no credit card debt and both vehicles are paid off and in decent condition (knock on wood). I just know I'll feel even worse if something happens the day after I get braces and we're SOL on the money front (we wouldn't be completely SOL, but you get the point).

Also, there's the whole issue of being on the job market next year with "clear" braces....Great. Just what I need. MLA with braces!! That would be like high school all over again, except worse because now I give a shit. I just hope I'm making the right decision.

Crushed...Like a Bug

Well, my hubby single-handedly kaboshed my third-baby-sooner -rather-than-later dreams. I still had it on my mind when I got home Friday evening. The "in tune with me" man that he is, he could tell something was rattling around up there in that head of mine, but I kept it to myself. After taking H to meet Nana on Saturday (which begins her 3 week stay in Home State) and driving back, hubby and I had a quiet evening home with E. Once we all went to bed, I broke out with the goods. I could tell he wasn't terribly interested in having the conversation, but he was willing to hear my list of Pros and Cons. I explained that I certainly wasn't wanting to "try" try getting pregnant like we did with E. You know, the whole ovulation testing, temping, charting, crazy sex on peak fertility days process. That's a roller coaster that I'm quite happy not to get on again. I was thinking the "let it roll" method this time and not starting that until August or so. Then, Hubby had the kabosh point:

"We'd absolutely have to get a minivan" he said in the dark.

Oh yeah. Duh. Family of five - with two car seats - won't exactly fit in the 4-door sedan, and damn sure won't fit in the 2-door, 4-passenger other vehicle we have. Shit. Big obstacle. Completely practical obstacle. I can't believe I hadn't thought of this (thus showing how crazy I must be). I can just picture Hurricane H trying to squeeze past one of the car seats to sit in between them...like a friggin bull in a china cabinet!

On the bright side, Hubby is super excited about the idea of a minivan - he's officially old! I despise them. I think they look like giant Hoover Dustbusters sucking the dirt from the roads. I swore I'd never own one. They're for church moms, young grandmas who garden, and soccer moms....Wait, H played soccer this Spring, so that makes me...aww shit.
There's no way out of this one. We certainly aren't in the position to spring for an SUV over the minivan. Hell, who am I kidding, we aren't in the position to spring for a minivan.

So there you have it. No sort of baby-making can be happening until the money has been saved for trading in on a minivan, or until we're making enough to cover the monthly payments on one. This one is obvious, so it's like my third baby wishes have scampered away into the darkness, knowing they've been defeated and that there's no point in putting up a fight.

I also respect something Hubby said while we were talking about this. He said he would have serious doubt about his ability to finish his dissertation if we were to have a third child before he was finished. Granted, he's a worryer and a pessimist in general, but I wouldn't want him to feel that much pressure or resentment or anything negative when it comes to a decision like this, so I accept his concerns. But I did try to explain the fact that he's not the one who has to worry about timing pregnancy weight (the showing factor) with the job market interviews, or maternity leave with a new job, each of which are also factors that I have to consider.

Thus we begin the Savings Campaign, and nothing but good can come from that, right?