Middle School

I'm completely convinced that middle school for most of today's young people is 5 bazillion times worse than it was when I was younger...It is nothing short of pure hell, and I just pray that Hannah survives. I'm realizing now just how innocent, good, and naive she really is. That doesn't mean she's perfect. She tells lies to get out of trouble, she makes bad decisions, and she's often completely disrespectful to Hubby and I. But, in the end, she is a *good* girl. A *good* person, especially outside the walls of our house....especially at school.

She has NEVER misbehaved in a classroom or disrespected a teacher. Never. Ever. And she never would. Moreoever, she's never been in a classroom setting where backtalking the teacher, mouthing off in the back row, and generally being rude and disruptive on a regular basis is how some kids behave. And now, after two years of attending a wonderful school with top-notch standards, best learning/teaching practices, and fantastic facilities and resources, she has now been thrown into the lion's den.

On top of going through the repatriation process, which brings its own specific challenges, she's also going through the difficulties that come with a new school, town, etc. She's hypersensitive AND going through puberty, which means at least 50% of all her reactions to anything end up in a teary meltdown. I'm doing the best I can to be patient, understanding, and helpful to her during this transition. But, frankly, I don't have all the answers. Hell, I don't know if the answers I have are even any good. And honestly, I'm going through my own repatriation/new town/new job issues, so part of me just wants to sit down and cry along with her!!

I don't know that I have a point here. I'm just hoping that if I keep getting things down in writing somewhere, I'll feel better, I'll think through things a bit more carefully, and maybe even some answers will magicaly appear. Is that too much to ask?

It Has Begun

The anxiety, that is. General stress over the move and all the related logistics has been with me for the past two months,but the all-out can't sleep, can't stop moving, feel like I'm going to puke anxiety has hit with full force today. Do you know what our travel/moving schedule looks like? Let me break it down for you:

this Thursday (6/16): Mover come to load up all our things for repatriation. (And we are not allowed to pack anything ourselves, which simply adds to my anxiety).

Friday (6/17): Wake-up call around 2:45 a.m. to get showered, get kids up, and get everyone ready, out the door, all luggage loaded (5 large bags, 2 car seats, 1 pack-n-play), and to the airport for a 6:00 a.m. check-in. Then, we fly for 14 hours, layover in D.C. for a little while, then fly to Boston, where we crash at the Boston-Logan Hilton.

Saturday (6/18): Pick up rental car, drive to New England Town, let everyone explore the new home, shop for appliances, enjoy local seafood, and crash when we all hit "the wall" around 7:00 p.m. (if not earlier).

Sunday (6/19): I fly to Philly with Eliza and Amelia, while Hubby and Hannah fly to my Home State. Along the way, Hubby will connect with his Dad, who is also flying to my Home State. After a very short night of rest, they will hit the road in our minivan and the minivan we're buying from my mom and head to College Town (6-hour drive). By 1:00 p.m., they'll meet the movers at our storage unit and load up All The Things We Left Behind (ATTWLB). Then, they'll make the 39-hour(!!) drive to New England Town.

Thursday (6/23): Hubby meets New England Town movers to load ATTWLB into a storage unit and put one of the minivans into a storage unit. They'll both then fly to Philly and re-join the little ones and I.

We wait....

Wednesday (6/29): We head back to New England Town, and I'll catch a flight out to Home State.

Thursday (6/30): Hubby will hopefully close on the house with the two little ones in tow.

Friday (7/01): Hubby and the littles will fly to FL from New England, while Hannah and I fly to Florida from Home State. We'll all convene at the Orlando airport, where we'll finally be whisked away by Mickey Mouse himself and taken to our luxury resort, DisneyWorld's Beach Club Resort.

For one week, we'll enjoy three parks (Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Animal Kingdom), club-level concierge service, and the best pool the Disney park has to offer. This is our reward, our present to our family for working hard, living somewhat frugally over the past two years, and simply surviving Doha. Who know when we'll have the money to do this again, so this is it! At some point, I'm sure I'll be excited.

Thursday (7/07): Hubby and the littles fly back to New England, while I fly Hannah back to Home State, wait at the airport a couple hours, then fly back to New England and drive to the hotel where Hubby is.

Friday (7/08): Please, for the love of God, this should be our moving day! The shipment from Doha will be delivered, the movers will bring our stuff from storage, the furniture stores (yes, plural) will bring our bedroom suite and living room suite, and Lowes will bring our new refrigerator (and possibly some window A/C units).

Now do you see why I'm literally worrying myself sick? Can you imagine the 5,632,218 things that can go wrong in these plans? I can! And that's why I'm freaking out! I have only a limited number of the anti-anxiety meds that my doctor prescribed for me last fall. I've been exercising to help work off some stress and try to help get more restful sleep. Unfortunately, I'm still overwhelmed. I feel like there's too much to do and not enough time to do it. I'm afraid I'll forget something important or that air travel will get screwed up, or worst thing ever....something falls through with the house at the last minute and we're left freaking homeless!!

I could desperately use some prayers for zen, peace, and calm if you have some to spare.

A Whole Bunch of Stuff

Individual follow-up posts on some of these will probably come later, but for now there's too much venting and not enough time. I've been in New England Town since Wednesday, and I have accomplished the following:

1 - looked at many houses
2 - selected a house
3 - put in an offer on a house, countered a counter-offer on said house, and accepted final terms for our offer to buy the house
4 - selected beautiful living room furniture and a bedroom set for the new house (all under budget!)
5 - met the neighbors (who are delightful and with whom we share some strangely coincidental things)
6 - took a day trip to Providence, R.I. with my Mom, because one day was all about her and what she wanted to do
7 - eaten vast amounts of clams, mussels, and a whole lobster...YUMMMY!
8 - celebrated Easter at the local Methodist church, a blessing in so many ways
9 - determined a daycare for the little ones to start in the fall
10 - started the mortgage loan process for the new house--PLEASE PRAY that this proceeds with success!

Unfortunately, the trip has not been without its disappointment, namely New England School, or to be more precise, the English department chair of NES (New England School), who apparently knew nothing of the assurance that I'd already been given three courses for the fall. Yeah, that was a fantastic fucking meeting, let me tell ya. More on this little dandy later, for now, I just wanted to say: HOORAY--I found a house!!

What's it like, you ask? It's a 1,687 square foot Colonial with 4 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, hardwood floors in the kitchen, bedrooms, and dining room, the cutest little reading nook in the living room, a built-in corner hutch in the dining room, an above-ground pool, a finished basement, and a fenced-in backyard.....all sitting on a quiet street in a quiet neighborhood. Wanna see?

You cannot possibly imagine how much I love this house! If you could imagine, then you could also imagine how tragic it would be if the mortgage loan did not go through successfully. More likely than not, everything will be fine. We have the majority of the documents the bank wants at this point, but I won't have an offer letter until they actually CREATE three new courses to put on the schedule for me. Yes, they have to add three sections in order to fulfill the offer the Dean made to me, the offer which evidently never went through the Associate Dean or the English department chair. As long as I have this document fairly soon, we should be fine on the mortgage. My unease and anxiety comes from the fear that something will pop up out of the blue once everything gets to underwriting, and my dream will come to a crashing halt. From now until June 1st (our closing date), it will be hard to sleep, think, concentrate, or do anything other than worry about whether or not this will really be our new home when we move back in June.

So people, if you're the praying kind, I could use a few. If you're the meditating kind, please say some "ohms" for us. And if you fall into some other category, just send some good mortgage loan vibes this way. I'd really love to bring my family home to this beautiful place.