Kids Say The Darndest Things

Kids Say #1
Last Thursday, the Prodigal Father (a.k.a. my "natural" father) came to visit us again. The man isn't what he used to be - in terms of physical appearances - but he still looks like Dad to me. To my 8-yr. old, however, he's Papaw David, and she's not really aware of how he looked 20 years ago or so. In fact, she doesn't know much about him at all because he's so rarely ever been a part of my life since she was born. As she's grown up, especially in the past year or so, she's gotten more curious about where she comes from, where I come from, and how our very branched and blended family works. She knows my mother and father divorced, and that my father re-married, which meant that I had a step-mother. She has asked simple questions like, "Was she nice?" and my commitment to be honest with her (without completely divulging every detail about every incident) has led to me having to answer her question with a "No. She was not nice at all." This, of course, only prompted my oldest child to ask for an example of WESM (Wicked Evil Step-Mother)'s not-niceness. I gave her an example.

While my dad was here last Thursday, we were all sitting in the living room, winding down for the evening, when she randomly bursts out with "My Mom said her stepmom locked her outside." She says this looking first at me, then at my dad. Like a guilty deer caught in headlights, he could only muster a glance at me and ask "Did she?"..... Like he didn't fucking know!!?? Like my brother and I never told him about it when it happened!! I just said "Yep. She sure did." He had nowhere to hide. He said probably the best thing that he could've said (which H would also be able to understand), which was "Well, we don't have to worry about her [stepmom] anymore." (He divorced her you see...then hid from the authorities to avoid being served divorce papers, etc. Quality guy that dad of mine).

Kids Say #2
While my father used to have a full head of curly brown hair in high school, he's now follicle-challenged. It's not shiny bald...but more like a bit of razory shortness in the back and on the sides. He's got nothing on top though. Somehow, H was not about to let this escape her attention and inquiry. As she walked behind the couch on which my father was sitting, she comfortably puts her hand on the top of his head and asks with complete sincerity, "Papaw David, do you want hair to grow here?"

We all had to laugh at that one.

Thank God for the kids, because I don't think I can muster laughing moments with my father anymore. It's hard to be funny when there's so much bad history. But H? She has no history with him...only fun. He took her to the ice skating rink, where they didn't get to skate, but he bought her a fancy skating dress (note: she doesn't even know how to ice skate). He took her roller skating, where she got to wear the dress, then bowling, and then they went to the mall, where my 52-yr old divorcee of a father got his ear pierced at Claire's. This, of course, made him the coolest Papaw in the world to H. It grossed me out...ugh...just ick. But I keep telling myself, this isn't about me: it's about the girls. Letting him take baby steps into our lives is for the girls. And I hope it's them that keep making jokes because it does make the whole situation a bit easier to go through.