Reflections

I finished revisions on my essay for the edited collection last week, so half of my research/writing-related goals for the summer are accomplished. I feel really proud of this piece not only because it constitutes the first academic writing of mine to be published, but also because I began the project on my own. That is, it's been entirely self-driven rather than being directed by my advisor or other mentors. My interest was peaked, I saw an opening for exploring the subject, I did the research and the writing, and I completed the work before I ever sent it to my advisor for feedback. This, in itself, is an accomplishment for me, because I'm very insecure about my academic work. In fact, I was almost in tears with the editors read my final essay and responded that they thought it was "groundbreaking." Really?! "Groundbreaking." I almost wanted to ask if they were reading the right essay. Honestly, I don't think the essay is groundbreaking. Or, if it is, I certainly can't articulate why or how. But my reaction to their response is what's most telling.

Friends, I'm a Praise-Seeker. There, I said it.

I'm not a Praise-Seeker in the sense that I want everyone to tell me I'm wonderful and a genius and my work is brilliant. No, not that kind. Rather, I'm of the praise-seeking sort that, unless someone says something positive about my work, I will most likely think it's crap. I *need* someone else--preferably someone smarter, older, wiser, and much more senior--to tell me my work is good, worth doing, or contributing something original to the field in order to fell somewhat confident about the work I do. I'm quite certain that this is a horrible fault to have, especially in academia. My advisor explained clearly while I was dissertating that, if one seeks external reward or reinforcement to prove that one's work is worthy, then that person will most often be disappointed. I have tried my best to keep this in mind, primarily by making myself think about the value of my work to the field as I develop it. That is, constantly reminded myself to make it clear in my writing why X topic is worth studying, exploring, etc.

And now I move on to the next project, revising an article for publication in a good journal in my field. I chose not to follow the advice of my advisor, a committee member, and several other colleagues, each of whom recommended that I try for a top-tier journal and then work my way down if it didn't get accepted. Since I was on the job market last year, it was more important that I just get something accepted in a reputable, peer-reviewed journal. And, I did! Is it the Best Journal in the Field? No. Is it respectable, well-known, and credible? Absolutely! And the editor, who I got to meet at this year's ASECS, is very lovely, also well-known, and good friends with my advisor. So, there are connections formed that could turn out to be important in the future.

This second essay has also helped demonstrate to me (especially from the reader reports) that other scholars are interested in my book project. Generally speaking, they think the topic timely, the theoretical framework original, and the research solidly done. This bodes well for revising my dissertation into a book, and it just so happens that the publisher for the edited collection is also the same publisher for which I think my book would be a good "fit." I have a plan for the revisions, which I hope to complete over the next academic year, and I have an editor contact in the publishing company.

All good things on the work front...Now I just have to decide, between now and October, if I want to do a full run at the job market (full run meaning a national job search, as opposed to looking only in the New England area where we'll live). I fear that decision will be difficult to say the least.

RBoC: Sunday Edition

• I've finished what will be my first publication (an essay in a collected edition) one day ahead of schedule--woohoo! I'm using this last day to take care of any stylistic revisions that need to be made, since I'm not familiar with the style the editors are using. I'm happy with what I've written and the research it's based on, and I'm really looking forward to seeing the other essays in the collection (as well as any suggestions for further revision the editors might have).
• Now, I look forward to ASECS in March. I'm participating in a roundtable, so my paper will be short and sweet. I'm excited to get together with all the 18th-c. peeps, but I do not look forward to the OMG number of travel hours that are required to get to Vancouver. The only saving grace is that I was able to use my Qmiles through Qatar Airways to upgrade to business class on the flight to Houston (16 hours!).
• The spring job market is non-existent. Really and truly, there is nothing to speak of at this point, and it makes me want to crawl into bed and never come out.
• Hannah's birthday is coming up, and that will make me the mother of a 12-year old daughter. I sure hope 12 will be easier than 11, but something tells me it won't. I've tried some new parenting strategies since we returned from holiday break, and they've worked well so far. Really, it just amounts to me setting firmer boundaries and not engaging her when those boundaries are crossed. We'll see how this goes.
• The best discovery we made upon returning to our compound was that our evil heathen neighbors had been moved!! YIPPEEE!! It's almost unbelievable the difference that it's made in the dynamics of this compound. You see, there are only 16 villas (houses) here. To compare, many of the other compounds (think gated living, Middle East style) have between 100-250 villas. The latter results in a greater mixture of types, personalities, etc. of the residents. Our compound, however, is comprised solely of people who work for the same university, and almost all of them have children (mainly girls). So, if you have a problem at home, it has a much higher chance of carrying over to a problem at work, even if it's just an HR issue of requesting a house change. But now, we don't worry about our kids going to play outside, there's no more drama, and it's soooooo much more quiet!
• At some point, I will have to turn my attention to revising the dissertation. I'm trying to get myself psyched up for this, but I haven't had much success yet. I know I'll need to get Bill Germano's work, From Dissertation to Book, but I realize that I'm still very much isolated from any kind of intellectual community remotely related to my field, and that's something that can't be duplicated.

And Now, to Write the Thing...While on the Market

So, I am very excited to have something accepted for publication, yes? Except now I'm stressing. This is the first thing I will have written without my advisor sort of overseeing the project. The co-editors e-mailed to let me know that they deadline for essays is January 31st. Is this a good amount of time? Shorter than usual? Longer? I have no idea what normal is here. I don't think there will be any problem meeting the deadline, but I just feel the pressure of knowing this essay needs to be perfect: well written, well researched, innovative, and provocative. It's been a while since I've been in the research/drafting mode, so I'm still trying to figure out a realistic schedule...like 3-4 pages a week plus the researching that needs to be done as I write....and send out job materials.

Yes, the MLA job list came out last week, and I had to laugh out loud at some of the positions. Were they in my field? Sure. But, will schools like Georgetown, Cornell, Columbia, and Dartmouth hire me? I doubt it. Of course, I'll apply anyway because I'm crazy like that. My advisor says they are "possibles." Meh. There's actually a job at a very good state school, an R1, where I know one of the department faculty who's in my field pretty well. I've worked with her before, and I adore her and her work. She's brilliant, productive, and very supportive of junior scholars. I'm hoping that it will help to know someone on the inside, though it may not count for anything at all. I'm also hoping that the MLA list gets much longer very soon. Right now, there are about 23 jobs for which I'm applying (only 2 of those are generalist positions, and 1 is a postdoc). I'm also hoping that some smaller schools start placing ads in my area because the ones that are hiring now would be really long-shots for me.

I'm Getting Published!

Woohoo!! The proposal I submitted to an edited collection on a non-dissertation-related topic has been accepted for publication! Very exciting, considering the proposal I submitted for the ASECS panel did not get accepted (but I'm trying out a second option there).

Anywho, totally excited about getting published, especially with a good press, but I'm already feeling the stress of the fact that a) the essay has yet to be written and b) there is a deadline--eek. I don't know how much time is usually given for these things, but they want my essay by January 31st, because the senior editor at the press wants to move quickly on the collection, having it out/published in 2012. So, I have approximately 3-4 months to complete the research for and write this 20-25 page essay...in addition to preparing all the job letters, materials, etc. I can do this, right? I have to do this!

I'm doing this!