- The Best Thing: Hubby has a phone interview today with Small Midwest Regional School (SMRS), and I am completely in love with the idea of this school, the town, the area of the country, the chance to go back to the U.S.--everything! They also have an English position open, but it's in a period just a tad bit earlier than my work (Renaissance). All good prayers, vibes, well wishes would be most appreciated in the AcadeFamily household. OMG, I want him to do well. Unfortunately, he's had almost no time to prepare, and since he's not back on our main campus, he doesn't even have the colleagues to conduct a mock interview. I put together a dossier about the school for him, a list of questions to expect (based on the placement seminar I had, Chronicle resources, and other files I've accumulated), and I offered to listen to his answers, etc. They're interviewing 10 other candidates, so he's got his work cut out for him, but he really would be a fantastic fit for this school!
- I've applied to more CC jobs than 4-year schools...Job security (tenure-track) and a place where my family can settle has now trumped other considerations. I've also taken to heart much of the conversations about new PhDs needing to alter their expectations of what constitutes academic success. Okay, consider my expectations altered. Now give me a job.
- My anxiety levels are back to where they were when we were preparing to move over here. I have an enormous amount of difficulty falling asleep, and then, if I get up with the baby, I have just as hard a time getting back to sleep. You'd think that would exhaust me? But no, the following night I'm still wide awake, brain won't shut off....worried about all things dissertation, job market, and moving.
- I am so irritated with some of my students! Seriously, some student issues are seemingly universal. They don't like writing...they procrastinate...they forget their books, etc. That happens everywhere. There are some problems, howeve, that I have learned are specific to students in the Gulf region, and they are driving me insane! I have at least one student each semester who thinks it is acceptable to belligerently argue with me and insist that I take hir work, despite the fact that it is late; or, that I at least give hir partial credit. And when I mean argue, I mean stand in my face and repeat the same things over and over again, despite me saying, "No. I'm sorry, but it isn't fair for me to accept work you didn't bring to class when everyone else *did* follow the instructions. This is not negotiable." When I point out to said student that ze is arguing, ze claims "I just want to understand." What the hell is there to understand? Follow directions! Come to class prepared! Pretty simple stuff.
- Also, I have three little doe-eyed Qatari girls who clearly worked so closely together on their first essay that it constitutes plagiarism. They all wrote on the same "event," despite the fact that the assignment was a Narration and Description Essay on an important personal moment, time period, or event. Apparently, they all had the exact same life-changing event happen to them.
- I am desperately looking forward to returning to the main campus to defend my dissertation! That is, of course, unless I end up having to re-schedule my defense date because I am lame and can't finish the revisions in time, in which case I would rather hide in shame and drink myself silly. If things go well, though, I shall eat wonderful Mexican food, drink wine and martinis daily, consume large amounts of pork, chill and catch up with dear friends, and flitter about a very cool conference that our department is hosting that week. Oh, and on top of that, my Mom is driving down to spend time with me!! I don't remember the last time we spent time alone together, much less more than a couple hours.
- I truly believe Amelia is allergic to this country. She's constantly got a runny/snotty/stuffy nose, and it can't be fun for her. It seems to get worse the more time she spends outside. She is now saying "Mama" daily, which makes my heart sing! She has a giant, toothy smile that's surrounded by chunky, rosy cheeks, and I just love her to pieces. Hannah continues rehearsals for her role as a member of Fagan's Gang in Oliver!, an outside activity that she's taken to like a fish in water. Eliza is happy, healthy, and smart, and I'm amazed at how much of the Arabic language she is picking up at her nursery.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
RBoC
Friday, January 29, 2010
Doha Diaries, no. 7: A Post on Power
I've been aware for some time now that the majority of my posts since moving abroad have related to the more mundane and practical aspects that surround international relocation. Daily snippets, frustrations with a new culture, occasional interesting observances, rather than extended discussions of a specific topic. This is not because I haven't been thinking about specific topics as they relate to living in the Middle East, but rather because I have been doing my best to think about them for a while before I come to any conclusions (if conclusions can even be reached).
For example, before coming here, the first question almost everyone asked me was: "Will you have to wear the veil?" For some reason, I was always amazed by this question. Maybe it was result of some graduate courses I took, in which I learned that clothing for men and women in the Muslim world is governed largely by tradition rather than law. With only a few exceptions, it is not a legal obligation that women cover themselves with the abaya or veil or that men wear the thobe.
Instead, it is a tradition sanctioned by the Qu'ran that both men and women dress modestly. Since it is a tradition for Muslims, and I'm not a Muslim, I'm not expected to wear an abaya (though I am, as per my contract, expected to respect and be sensitive to the culture, religion, and legal system here).
The assumption long held by many Westerners and Americans (feminists in particular) has been that this aspect of Muslim tradition is just one of the many oppressive practices that Muslim women face. Admittedly, I felt this way for most of my adult life until I met two young Muslim girls in graduate school who became good friends of mine. They had a tough job convincing me that the covering of ones body could be an act of empowerment, one that ensured (among other things) that attention was paid not to outward appearances but to more important qualities like what one had to say. I gradually came to see their point of view, even if they didn't come to see mine.
This is the attitude I brought with me when moving to the Middle East. For reasons I'm not yet sure of, I think I was invested in believing that wearing the abaya (with or without the veil) was a form of power in a specific cultural context. I quickly discovered that the abaya was not only a religious marker, but also a marker of class and nation. Some women have abayas that are distinguished by ornate beading and sequins at the end of the sleeve, and these can be quite expensive. Other women have something more like 'home-spun' abayas, perhaps indicating an inability to afford anything more elaborate. And then there are non-Muslim women who wear the abaya because it is the tradition they must follow as workers for a Muslim family. The latter, however, are usually dressed in little better than a head-covering and what often looks like pajamas. The look they have on their faces will never be lost from my memory. The vast majority of the time, I am convinced it is nothing short of the look of a slave.
This brings me to the idea of power...After conversations with quite a number of people, other expats who have lived here or in the Gulf region for several years and who have developed very close friendships with some very well-off citizens of this country, I have changed my mind about the idea of the abaya as a form of power. That is to say that the idea is much more complicated. I have heard stories of families whose sons gang rape their housemaid as a matter of occasional fun. I have heard of the bodies of housemaids that are found dumped and decomposing in the desert. I have heard of the women--mother and her daughters--who beat their maid with hairbrushes and sticks for no offense at all. I hate to say it, but the first of these doesn't surprise me. It has happened since time began, and it continues to happen everywhere in the world. The last example is certainly not limited to this country, but I can see how and why it goes unnoticed. As my friend explained to me: "They beat their maid because she's the only damn person they have any power over."
As part of a conversation about white people who speak Arabic and how white women in the Middle East are perceived by the women who wear the abaya, we stumbled into a discussion of power. I listened as he described their rage, something he's been privy to because he speaks Arabic. He's heard local women, disgusted at the sight of a Western woman in jeans and a t-shirt, calling her a whore under their breath. It made me at once feel angry at the idea that I might evoke such a reaction from the people around me, but I also felt confusion and pity at the idea that I could be complicit in the sense of rage and frustration building up in women who don't enjoy the same power that I have. This added to what has been a growing feeling of sadness and empathy for the 70% of people here who constitute the imported work force. The housemaids, drivers, construction workers, car washers, etc. It has become clear that, in many cases, these people are not seen as human beings. They are objects, usually identified only by their nationality: "Who cares? It's just a Phillipino." It. Not he or she. And to provide her family in her home country with whatever meager wages she can earn, she serves someone else's family, cleans someone else's home, and raises someone else's children (often falling victim to abuse from them as well). Rather than have compassion for this woman and treat her like a fellow human being, some women see her as the only person over whom they can exert power. All the pent-up rage and frustration is exorcised through violence against another woman's body. The woman who is not protected by the abaya, the culture, or the law.
I still think the abaya offers a sense of power...unfortunately, that's not always a good thing.
For example, before coming here, the first question almost everyone asked me was: "Will you have to wear the veil?" For some reason, I was always amazed by this question. Maybe it was result of some graduate courses I took, in which I learned that clothing for men and women in the Muslim world is governed largely by tradition rather than law. With only a few exceptions, it is not a legal obligation that women cover themselves with the abaya or veil or that men wear the thobe.
Instead, it is a tradition sanctioned by the Qu'ran that both men and women dress modestly. Since it is a tradition for Muslims, and I'm not a Muslim, I'm not expected to wear an abaya (though I am, as per my contract, expected to respect and be sensitive to the culture, religion, and legal system here).
The assumption long held by many Westerners and Americans (feminists in particular) has been that this aspect of Muslim tradition is just one of the many oppressive practices that Muslim women face. Admittedly, I felt this way for most of my adult life until I met two young Muslim girls in graduate school who became good friends of mine. They had a tough job convincing me that the covering of ones body could be an act of empowerment, one that ensured (among other things) that attention was paid not to outward appearances but to more important qualities like what one had to say. I gradually came to see their point of view, even if they didn't come to see mine.
This is the attitude I brought with me when moving to the Middle East. For reasons I'm not yet sure of, I think I was invested in believing that wearing the abaya (with or without the veil) was a form of power in a specific cultural context. I quickly discovered that the abaya was not only a religious marker, but also a marker of class and nation. Some women have abayas that are distinguished by ornate beading and sequins at the end of the sleeve, and these can be quite expensive. Other women have something more like 'home-spun' abayas, perhaps indicating an inability to afford anything more elaborate. And then there are non-Muslim women who wear the abaya because it is the tradition they must follow as workers for a Muslim family. The latter, however, are usually dressed in little better than a head-covering and what often looks like pajamas. The look they have on their faces will never be lost from my memory. The vast majority of the time, I am convinced it is nothing short of the look of a slave.
This brings me to the idea of power...After conversations with quite a number of people, other expats who have lived here or in the Gulf region for several years and who have developed very close friendships with some very well-off citizens of this country, I have changed my mind about the idea of the abaya as a form of power. That is to say that the idea is much more complicated. I have heard stories of families whose sons gang rape their housemaid as a matter of occasional fun. I have heard of the bodies of housemaids that are found dumped and decomposing in the desert. I have heard of the women--mother and her daughters--who beat their maid with hairbrushes and sticks for no offense at all. I hate to say it, but the first of these doesn't surprise me. It has happened since time began, and it continues to happen everywhere in the world. The last example is certainly not limited to this country, but I can see how and why it goes unnoticed. As my friend explained to me: "They beat their maid because she's the only damn person they have any power over."
As part of a conversation about white people who speak Arabic and how white women in the Middle East are perceived by the women who wear the abaya, we stumbled into a discussion of power. I listened as he described their rage, something he's been privy to because he speaks Arabic. He's heard local women, disgusted at the sight of a Western woman in jeans and a t-shirt, calling her a whore under their breath. It made me at once feel angry at the idea that I might evoke such a reaction from the people around me, but I also felt confusion and pity at the idea that I could be complicit in the sense of rage and frustration building up in women who don't enjoy the same power that I have. This added to what has been a growing feeling of sadness and empathy for the 70% of people here who constitute the imported work force. The housemaids, drivers, construction workers, car washers, etc. It has become clear that, in many cases, these people are not seen as human beings. They are objects, usually identified only by their nationality: "Who cares? It's just a Phillipino." It. Not he or she. And to provide her family in her home country with whatever meager wages she can earn, she serves someone else's family, cleans someone else's home, and raises someone else's children (often falling victim to abuse from them as well). Rather than have compassion for this woman and treat her like a fellow human being, some women see her as the only person over whom they can exert power. All the pent-up rage and frustration is exorcised through violence against another woman's body. The woman who is not protected by the abaya, the culture, or the law.
I still think the abaya offers a sense of power...unfortunately, that's not always a good thing.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Doha Diaries, no. 6
I'm back. Unfortunately. I wasn't ready to get back on the plane when we left on New Year's Eve. Several times during the break, I had half-joked with Hubby that he could just come back and I'd stay in the U.S. with the girls :-) The airport drop-off went much better than it did when Hannah and I went back for Eid break. No meltdowns or long, drawn-out teary goodbyes. Hannah was sad, obviously, but things went quickly and smoothly. The trip back was good because we had the entire front row of business class to ourselves! However, getting the girls back on schedule has taken a full week, Amelia is already sick again (some sort of allergies), and Hubby and I begin the new semester today--blah.
My time back home over break solidified what I'd been feeling before we left: I'm not happy here. While I was home, I felt like someone had let me out of jail...I had the freedom to enjoy all the lazy, American conveniences that I used to take for granted. When I returned to Doha, I felt like someone had thrown me back in the clink. Being home reinforced how much I miss the most important thing about our lives in the States: more time with family (even though they get on my nerves sometimes), more time with Hubby, more time for myself. I talked to Hubby about how I was feeling, and he understands...for the most part. Just to make sure we even have the option to leave our contracts and to find out what the consequences are (especially the financial ones), I spoke with our HR Director. He, too, was sympathetic to my concerns and explained that we would get to keep our travel allowance, and the university would still provide us with business-class tickets back home, cover our repatriation, etc. I spoke with the accounting firm that handles the taxes for most of the university employees and found out that we could still qualify for the Foreign Earned Income Tax Exclusion benefit if we can stay in Doha until July 25th. With these questions answered, I have decided to go on the spring job market.
Hubby and I are applying to t-t and non-tenure track jobs, in the hopes that we can either a)find work at the same school or b)find work in the same town. We knew coming over here that, because of the difficulties of conducting academic job searches from overseas, we'd likely have to take non-tenure track positions when we finished our contracts. Really, nothing has changed, except the timeline. I've already notified my committee and started applying for jobs...knowing that the odds are against me, but hoping that Hubby might find something promising since he's finished his dissertation.
Today, another colleague commended me on the "bravery" of this decision because it involves walking away from so much money. I don't see this decision as brave. In fact, it feels quite the opposite. I feel like I'm limping away with my tail between my legs. Like I've let my immediate family down. Like I've failed my own personal test of sorts. If we don't get jobs back in the States, we'll survive here. I'll survive here. It's just that I want to do more than simply survive.
For now, I'm in the very stressful, anxiety-ridden stages of finishing revisions to my dissertation. Though I'm scheduled to defend Wednesday, April 7th, I remain terrified that I won't be able to make the deadline and that I'll have to re-schedule it, which will mortify me! I HATE, HATE, HATE to miss my own deadlines. My advisor seems to think that my timeline is reasonable, but I'm worried that something will happen (children getting sick, me getting sick, family emergency, who knows?). I am having an increasingly hard time sleeping, which is made even worse by the fact that Amelia is still waking up once or twice (or more) in the middle of the night. Hubby and I take turns each night, but I have to take a sleeping pill if I actually want to get any rest on the nights he's up with the baby. I'm sure some of this just comes with the territory of approaching the deadline, but I'm stuck in a country where anti-anxiety meds aren't to be found!
Almost everything about the next year of our lives is up in the air for now...and there's nothing I can do about it...except breathe.
My time back home over break solidified what I'd been feeling before we left: I'm not happy here. While I was home, I felt like someone had let me out of jail...I had the freedom to enjoy all the lazy, American conveniences that I used to take for granted. When I returned to Doha, I felt like someone had thrown me back in the clink. Being home reinforced how much I miss the most important thing about our lives in the States: more time with family (even though they get on my nerves sometimes), more time with Hubby, more time for myself. I talked to Hubby about how I was feeling, and he understands...for the most part. Just to make sure we even have the option to leave our contracts and to find out what the consequences are (especially the financial ones), I spoke with our HR Director. He, too, was sympathetic to my concerns and explained that we would get to keep our travel allowance, and the university would still provide us with business-class tickets back home, cover our repatriation, etc. I spoke with the accounting firm that handles the taxes for most of the university employees and found out that we could still qualify for the Foreign Earned Income Tax Exclusion benefit if we can stay in Doha until July 25th. With these questions answered, I have decided to go on the spring job market.
Hubby and I are applying to t-t and non-tenure track jobs, in the hopes that we can either a)find work at the same school or b)find work in the same town. We knew coming over here that, because of the difficulties of conducting academic job searches from overseas, we'd likely have to take non-tenure track positions when we finished our contracts. Really, nothing has changed, except the timeline. I've already notified my committee and started applying for jobs...knowing that the odds are against me, but hoping that Hubby might find something promising since he's finished his dissertation.
Today, another colleague commended me on the "bravery" of this decision because it involves walking away from so much money. I don't see this decision as brave. In fact, it feels quite the opposite. I feel like I'm limping away with my tail between my legs. Like I've let my immediate family down. Like I've failed my own personal test of sorts. If we don't get jobs back in the States, we'll survive here. I'll survive here. It's just that I want to do more than simply survive.
For now, I'm in the very stressful, anxiety-ridden stages of finishing revisions to my dissertation. Though I'm scheduled to defend Wednesday, April 7th, I remain terrified that I won't be able to make the deadline and that I'll have to re-schedule it, which will mortify me! I HATE, HATE, HATE to miss my own deadlines. My advisor seems to think that my timeline is reasonable, but I'm worried that something will happen (children getting sick, me getting sick, family emergency, who knows?). I am having an increasingly hard time sleeping, which is made even worse by the fact that Amelia is still waking up once or twice (or more) in the middle of the night. Hubby and I take turns each night, but I have to take a sleeping pill if I actually want to get any rest on the nights he's up with the baby. I'm sure some of this just comes with the territory of approaching the deadline, but I'm stuck in a country where anti-anxiety meds aren't to be found!
Almost everything about the next year of our lives is up in the air for now...and there's nothing I can do about it...except breathe.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Home Away From Home
Well, we made it to Home State after a really good flight from Doha to Houston and a smooth connection to our quick domestic flight. I got two of my Christmas wishes already! We have a fantastically white Christmas Eve! We're in a part of the country that's having a Winter-Storm-of-the-Decade kind of thing....seriously, I haven't seen this kind of snow since I was a little girl--it's awesome. Because of the weather, Hannah's dad brought her back last night instead of Christmas afternoon. There was a very high chance that they'd get snowed in until Sunday if he didn't, so now I'll have all three of my girls at home on Christmas morning :-) She was sad she'd miss out on a couple more days with him, but I know Eliza is happy to have her back.
In other news, I am beyond blissful about the corporate furnished house we've rented! It's beautifully (but simply) decorated with things that I'd pick out myself, and it's got a fabulous layout. In addition, we're in a great town, just outside the metro area of the capital city, and everything we could need is close by. Really, I wish I could just send Hubby back to Doha to finish his contract, and I'd just stay here with the girls. I'm trying to remember that none of this--our trip back, dinners out, Christmas paid for completely in cash, all the great food I'm making tomorrow--would be possible without our jobs in Qatar. It's extremely hard though....I've been happier in the past 11 days here than any single day since we arrived in Doha. I can't help but sincerely hope that Hubby will land a t-t job and we'll be able to break contract and come back home.
That said, I've just about had it with my mother, so a few states between us is probably a good thing. Really, the whole AcadeMama is a selfish mother and tyrant of a wife routine is getting old. Hubby and I are both tired of her attitude, the one she has about me (that I only think of myself), the one she has about our marriage (that Hubby is a spineless pushover), and the one she has about us as parents (that we spoil Eliza but treat Hannah unfairly). Each one is complete bullshit, and she doesn't have a clue what our daily lives are like, so she has no business spouting this crap to us (actually, she's only done it while I've been out of the house and Hubby was there) while we're home for just 18 days. I take that back, she shouldn't be saying things like that under any circumstances; she should keep her mouth shut and realize that we're just fine. We're happy, we're good parents, and we have a good marriage. Keeping her out of our heads has been difficult at times, but thankfully we have our own space, and we're staying in it! She and I will eventually have to have a conversation, but I don't know if it will change anything. If anything changes it will be because I now realize that nothing I ever do will be good enough for her...nothing I can do as a mother (except play the sacrificial Virgin Mary), or as a wife, or as a person in my own right will make her happy.
I'm not letting her spoil my visit home though. I've enjoyed watching the girls play together all day. I've made a TON of food in preparation for Christmas brunch and dinner tomorrow. And, Amelia started crawling since we've been back home!! Amazing what some soft carpet will allow (rather than cold, hard marble floors). She also got her two front teeth (on the top) with relatively little pain, despite the fact that she was bleeding at one point...She just looked up from her Daddy's leg and had blood on her mouth, but didn't care a bit. She was smiling from ear to ear. She really is amazing....so strong, happy, and determined. She's going to grow up a thousand times faster than the older girls.
For now, I'm soaking it all up: the snow, my daughters, time with my husband, the holidays, and all the Mexican food I can get in my belly! For all those celebrating, may you have the happiest and most joyful of holidays!
In other news, I am beyond blissful about the corporate furnished house we've rented! It's beautifully (but simply) decorated with things that I'd pick out myself, and it's got a fabulous layout. In addition, we're in a great town, just outside the metro area of the capital city, and everything we could need is close by. Really, I wish I could just send Hubby back to Doha to finish his contract, and I'd just stay here with the girls. I'm trying to remember that none of this--our trip back, dinners out, Christmas paid for completely in cash, all the great food I'm making tomorrow--would be possible without our jobs in Qatar. It's extremely hard though....I've been happier in the past 11 days here than any single day since we arrived in Doha. I can't help but sincerely hope that Hubby will land a t-t job and we'll be able to break contract and come back home.
That said, I've just about had it with my mother, so a few states between us is probably a good thing. Really, the whole AcadeMama is a selfish mother and tyrant of a wife routine is getting old. Hubby and I are both tired of her attitude, the one she has about me (that I only think of myself), the one she has about our marriage (that Hubby is a spineless pushover), and the one she has about us as parents (that we spoil Eliza but treat Hannah unfairly). Each one is complete bullshit, and she doesn't have a clue what our daily lives are like, so she has no business spouting this crap to us (actually, she's only done it while I've been out of the house and Hubby was there) while we're home for just 18 days. I take that back, she shouldn't be saying things like that under any circumstances; she should keep her mouth shut and realize that we're just fine. We're happy, we're good parents, and we have a good marriage. Keeping her out of our heads has been difficult at times, but thankfully we have our own space, and we're staying in it! She and I will eventually have to have a conversation, but I don't know if it will change anything. If anything changes it will be because I now realize that nothing I ever do will be good enough for her...nothing I can do as a mother (except play the sacrificial Virgin Mary), or as a wife, or as a person in my own right will make her happy.
I'm not letting her spoil my visit home though. I've enjoyed watching the girls play together all day. I've made a TON of food in preparation for Christmas brunch and dinner tomorrow. And, Amelia started crawling since we've been back home!! Amazing what some soft carpet will allow (rather than cold, hard marble floors). She also got her two front teeth (on the top) with relatively little pain, despite the fact that she was bleeding at one point...She just looked up from her Daddy's leg and had blood on her mouth, but didn't care a bit. She was smiling from ear to ear. She really is amazing....so strong, happy, and determined. She's going to grow up a thousand times faster than the older girls.
For now, I'm soaking it all up: the snow, my daughters, time with my husband, the holidays, and all the Mexican food I can get in my belly! For all those celebrating, may you have the happiest and most joyful of holidays!
Monday, December 07, 2009
Doha Diaries, no. 5
Christmas in Doha
While we won't actually be in Qatar for Christmas, the season is upon us nonetheless, and it's to be found everywhere in Doha. Hubby and I have found this to be quite surprising. Decorations and lights line the Corniche, shopping malls have held various Christmas Market Days (complete with Santa Claus, Christmas cookies and trees, etc.), and even the nursery Eliza and Amelia attend is decorated to the hilt with snowflakes, tinsel, and ornaments. In a Muslim country, one in which any public display of religion other than Islam is technically illegal, how is this possible? I'm thinking there are only two possible reasons, but they don't necessarily exclude one another.
First, the possibility that the expat/Christian population is large enough that the powers that be feel like they should recognize and accommodate our most-revered holiday. Maybe....this is what Hubby thinks.
Second, and the one I think is more likely, is the seemingly obvious fact that money can be made from entertaining our holiday traditions. We'll buy decorations, we'll shop for gifts, and we'll spend good money to maintain a sense of normalcy here, especially during the holiday season and especially in the case of those who aren't able or willing to make the flight back home (wherever home is). I get the impression that the capitalist enterprise of the holidays seems fairly universal, and businesses in Doha want to exploit that just as much as businesses in the US and other predominantly Christian countries... but, I could be wrong. I'll have to ask around about this...
While we won't actually be in Qatar for Christmas, the season is upon us nonetheless, and it's to be found everywhere in Doha. Hubby and I have found this to be quite surprising. Decorations and lights line the Corniche, shopping malls have held various Christmas Market Days (complete with Santa Claus, Christmas cookies and trees, etc.), and even the nursery Eliza and Amelia attend is decorated to the hilt with snowflakes, tinsel, and ornaments. In a Muslim country, one in which any public display of religion other than Islam is technically illegal, how is this possible? I'm thinking there are only two possible reasons, but they don't necessarily exclude one another.
First, the possibility that the expat/Christian population is large enough that the powers that be feel like they should recognize and accommodate our most-revered holiday. Maybe....this is what Hubby thinks.
Second, and the one I think is more likely, is the seemingly obvious fact that money can be made from entertaining our holiday traditions. We'll buy decorations, we'll shop for gifts, and we'll spend good money to maintain a sense of normalcy here, especially during the holiday season and especially in the case of those who aren't able or willing to make the flight back home (wherever home is). I get the impression that the capitalist enterprise of the holidays seems fairly universal, and businesses in Doha want to exploit that just as much as businesses in the US and other predominantly Christian countries... but, I could be wrong. I'll have to ask around about this...
Doha Diaries, no. 4
- Well, the psychiatrist visit turned out to be a bust after all. When I took the prescription he wrote to the *one* hospital that carries the medication, they wouldn't fill it because it was issued by a private psychiatrist. They will only fill scrips issued by their own physicians...great. So, we get to do the whole thing over again when we're back in the States for the holidays.
- We *finally* got tickets home!! Did I already mention that? Don't remember, but I'm so excited, that I'll mention it again. Knowing that home is just a few days away--we leave Saturday, Dec. 12th--makes everything better. It was a completely horrendous process to get the tickets because our bank in the US has a limit on purchases made with a debit card during the first six months an account is open, so we couldn't use that card. Then, Qatar Airways--the only airline with a direct flight to Houston--doesn't allow debit cards to be used at all for purchasing tickets online. What did we have to do, you ask? We had to go to the bank, take out almost QAR68,000, bring it to campus, and pay a travel agent in the faculty lounge. Completely fucking bass-ackwards, but we got the tickets.
- We *finally* got our car loan! The new minivan has been with us since Thanksgiving, and Hubby adores it. When all was said and done, we got totally screwed because of the global recession and its effects on lending everywhere, including Doha. Even though our contracts are renewable (and this is indicated on our salary letters, which one must provide for the bank), they would only give us a loan for the term of our current contracts--a year and half (remaining time). Add to that the over-pricing that happens on vehicles in Doha, and our car payment...ready for it???.... $2,220/month! Now, we get a $575/month car allowance to help offset this, but holy shit! This will cut into our monthly cash flow in such a way that it will make the debt elimination process a bit slower. The flip side to this is a) we'll have it paid off before we leave, and b) when we leave, we'll be able to sell it for more than we would back in the US, and we'll get the vast majority of our money back. We can then use that money to pay off debt or to put down on a vehicle or house back in the States. I'm not happy about the way it all shook out, but it was the lesser of two evils.
- The Thanksgiving dinner party went really well...more food than a small army could eat, and good company. One of my colleagues is particularly fabulous and is now my Super Smart, Funny, Gay Friend :) He's truly thoughtful, hilarious, honest, and he's lived all over the Middle East. His company and conversation brighten my time at school, and I'm smitten with his Sri Lankan partner as well...Lovely guys!
- Amelia has had The Worst Cold in the Universe for the past four weeks. It has necessitated one ER visit, a visit to her pediatrician, one inhaler, and four other minor medications. She's pretty much healthy now...and getting her healthy before our trip back to the US was the important thing for me.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Doha Diaries, no 3: Small Steps
After meeting with the counselor at ASD and finding out that she could give me no recommendations for a psychiatrist, I wasn't feeling to great about how we would find one we'd be happy with. I'd noticed before that there was a sign on the same road as Hannah's school, fairly close to the school actually, that advertised the name and phone number of a licensed psychiatrist. So, after the meeting, I drove by the sign, took down the number, and figured, what the hell---we'll see how it goes.
I call and find out that he does treat children and he does see patients with ADHD---good so far! I set up the appointment, and we went last night, and to my endless surprise, I really like him. He listened to her entire history, asked all the right/relevant questions about her medication, adjustment to the relocation, behavior in school and at home, etc. Just as good, he agreed with my belief that it's time to increase the dosage of her meds. She's been on it for two years, and given her growth and the fact that she's approaching the age where hormones may start to be a factor, the medicine has become less effective and is wearing off earlier in the day. I couldn't believe that we walked out of his office last night with a new prescription in hand!
Unfortunately, we got home just in time for her to start puking her guts up! Looks like she caught the stomach bug that Eliza and Amelia had over the weekend. She'd already been home yesterday with a nasty cold, so this was just icing on the cake.
In an attempt to make the Thanksgiving holiday feel like a "normal" one, I decided to throw a Thanksgiving dinner party for some colleagues and friends. This first required me to poach a couple of friends from a colleague who has become a friend, but the point is that they're all people Hubby and I really like. I'm doing the turkey (Alton Brown's brined turkey!), dressing, a pecan pie, a pumpkin pie, coconut cake, and appetizers, and everyone else is bringing a side dish. We've got a couple other kids coming, so I bought a kid's table for them to sit at, and I'm even going to get some fresh flowers, a new tablecloth, and some decor for the house. Planning this has made me quite happy, despite the fact that I'll need to take Thursday off work to get started on cooking, cleaning, etc. We should have our alcohol permit by then, too, so yay for lots of wine!!
I call and find out that he does treat children and he does see patients with ADHD---good so far! I set up the appointment, and we went last night, and to my endless surprise, I really like him. He listened to her entire history, asked all the right/relevant questions about her medication, adjustment to the relocation, behavior in school and at home, etc. Just as good, he agreed with my belief that it's time to increase the dosage of her meds. She's been on it for two years, and given her growth and the fact that she's approaching the age where hormones may start to be a factor, the medicine has become less effective and is wearing off earlier in the day. I couldn't believe that we walked out of his office last night with a new prescription in hand!
Unfortunately, we got home just in time for her to start puking her guts up! Looks like she caught the stomach bug that Eliza and Amelia had over the weekend. She'd already been home yesterday with a nasty cold, so this was just icing on the cake.
In an attempt to make the Thanksgiving holiday feel like a "normal" one, I decided to throw a Thanksgiving dinner party for some colleagues and friends. This first required me to poach a couple of friends from a colleague who has become a friend, but the point is that they're all people Hubby and I really like. I'm doing the turkey (Alton Brown's brined turkey!), dressing, a pecan pie, a pumpkin pie, coconut cake, and appetizers, and everyone else is bringing a side dish. We've got a couple other kids coming, so I bought a kid's table for them to sit at, and I'm even going to get some fresh flowers, a new tablecloth, and some decor for the house. Planning this has made me quite happy, despite the fact that I'll need to take Thursday off work to get started on cooking, cleaning, etc. We should have our alcohol permit by then, too, so yay for lots of wine!!
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