Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Prayer Request

A long post ahead - So I have a real, official prayer request. Not for me. It's for a friend. Well, a friend of mine from high school and college. We haven't actually talked in almost 8 years, but I found out yesterday that she was just arrested and is entering drug rehab. She and her husband are separated. Since hearing about her story, I can't get her out of my head. I dreamed about her last night. I cried for her and her children this morning. I put in a call to her mother to find out if she'll be allowed to receive contact from "the outside" while she's in rehab, because I'd like to write her a letter. If you pray, please think of her. If you don't pray, just send some special thoughts her way. I promise that she deserves them.

Her situation got me thinking about how connected our decision-making is throughout our lifetime. She and I didn't always make good decisions in high school, but she was liked by everyone. She was the funny, chubby girl, with a pretty face. She had a beautiful voice and went to college on a full music scholarship. Despite having a great group of clean, smart, friends in high school and college, who liked her for who she was.

But this has me thinking about the kind of mother I am and the kind of mother I want to be (and not be). It has me thinking about my daughters and their future. It has me thinking of this girl, who likely has no clean friends or sources of support, nobody to remind her of the person she used to be. Even though her mother loves her, what must this friend feel like to have nobody saying "I love you" that doesn't sort of have to (like a mother)? I can't imagine what being addicted to drugs feels like. I can't imagine what not thinking clearly, not having the confidence, strength, or ability to change your life feels like. All I can imagine is this person I used to know and love stuck in a vacuum, alone, feeling like she's nothing, ashamed and desperate.

I want her to know that I still love her. That God loves her. That her children love her and need her to be healthy. That she is a beautiful person. I want to send her all the strength I have to get better. I want to send her faith and hope and courage and the desire to build herself from the inside out with self-worth a sense of competence.

I don't know anything about dealing with people with addictions, so I don't really know what to do. But I have to believe that thinking about her, praying for her, and writing to her will mean something.


Lilian said...

I'll pray for your friend. It's truly a very sad situation. I'm sorry I don't have any advice to give you since I've never had to deal with a situation like that. I'm glad that you want to let your friend know that you love her. I think this will be very important for her.

wwwmama said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I will pray for her. I hope the best for her and her kids. I don't know what I'd do if my daughter got into trouble like that. Anything I could, I guess.