Still Here...Barely

I'm sure there's light at the end of this tunnel, I just can't see it yet... ugh. "What tunnel?" you might ask. The Tunnel of Deadline Hell, which has me losing sleep, losing weight, and losing some much-needed quality time with my husband. Where to start...

Last week, I got The Braces. And I didn't just get the one set of braces. No...I was the lucky winner of some Grand Cosmic Lottery, so I got the prize of getting 2 different sets of braces put on twice in less than 24 hours!! The short version is that when they put the first set on last Thursday, they used a tube of sealant that was expired. Yes. Bad glue = brackets popping off = keeping them on by smearing wax all over them = me looking like/feeling like an even bigger dork with a mouth full of metal.

So, back to the orthodontist on Friday, at which point the full pain of the braces - which, by the way, they'd put on with a wire that was too heavy - had set in. In fact, my teeth hurt so bad I couldn't bite down on anything, and even the mashed potatoes were a chore to smush around in my mouth. Between 11:00 a.m. on Thursday and 5:00 p.m. on Friday, I'd eaten nothing but a few bites of mashed potatoes and some yogurt. Teeth in agony, I sat there Friday while they replaced all the brackets with new sealant and put new, lighter wires on the top and bottom. You know what the worst part is??? They don't give you any fucking drugs!! Are you kidding me? I don't have a "low" threshold for pain.... I have NO threshold for pain!! I need something better than Advil and Tylenol when it feels like someone is ripping all my teeth out with a pair of pliers for three days straight!

Yesterday was the first day that my teeth didn't hurt, so I finally got to eat something - other than soup - without pain. I still have major ick-reaction to eating though, because of all the crap that gets in the braces. Seriously, I could save all the leftovers in there for a second meal. It's disgusting! That alone is going to make The Braces the most effective weight loss strategy in the world. And, I swear, if you add up all the time I spend brushing my teeth now, it's gotta be at least an hour! Don't even get me started on the special "equipment" I have to use if I want to floss...I'm still not sure if it's worth it.

So, yes, I've been recovering from The Braces from Hell since last Thursday and happily watching my Home State college football team kick serious ass on the field. All the other things I'm doing, well....I'll just have to write another post. That will be my reward if I make adequate progress on the diss this morning. (That's really sad, I know, rewarding myself with time to blog, but such is my life right now).