I'm In!

I just got word that my paper proposal was accepted for a panel at Important National Conference in My Field! This was one of the last two things my advisor said "we" needed to do before I finished up, and I worked my arse off polishing the proposal until it was just right. I didn't get in last year, so not only getting accepted, but also being the only graduate student accepted to this panel has given me a little boost of confidence just when I needed it: now. Since the job letter has officially become the bane of my existence, and one of the places I'm applying to is asking for a writing sample and syllabi up-front....blah! I needed this good news :)

Progress = Reward...I hope

Yay!!...I met my "quota" of pages (plus an extra one), so I get my "reward" of a blog post before I rush off to pick up E from the montessori. Indeed, part of my recent blog absence is due to other potential "rewards" for which I'm applying. Though I'm confident I'm forgetting something, here's an idea of what's on my plate:

Tonight: run to the store on the way home for much needed household goods; make dinner; take H to hip-hop class; grade tests to hand back tomorrow; balance checkbook and pray for money to mysteriously appear in the register; read/prep for tomorrow's class

Tomorrow: Revise proposal (see below)

Saturday: the deadline to submit my proposal to a panel at the National Conference of the main group for my area of study

Monday: I'll get my students' first essays to grade (yippee )

By October 2nd: finish Team Teaching proposal (which would give me the chance to teach a 300 or 400-level course with my advisor); finish application materials for 2 internal dissertation fellowships

By October 12th: write the conference paper I'm presenting on October 13th

**the travel required for the conference is me driving 6 hours to get H back to Home State for visitation with her natural father, then flying out of Home State capitol to conference location on a Friday, flying back to Home State capitol on Sunday in time to pick up H and drive back to College Town before E goes to bed that night...Oh yeah, my mom has just added to this the Great Idea that I should bring E with me and let her stay with my mom while I'm at the conference!***

By October 15th: finish application materials for external, national dissertation fellowship

By October 31st: submit full draft of diss chapter to advisor

Yes, I can tell there are many things I've forgotten... like meetings with students, getting the braces tightened, planning a lecture by an outside visitor for February, finding Halloween costumes for both girls .... but it would hurt my head to try to remember them all right now.

Cool Thing? H tried out for the choir at her school and made it!! Yep, she had actual competition. It's only open to 3rd and 4th graders, but that still means over 200 kids were eligible, and only 60 made it! And, according to H, "tons of kids tried out." So, kudos to H on her first musical success!

Also cool? E's new tooth has *finally* broken through, so maybe now she'll stop trying to use other babies as human teething toys at montessori (Sorry M!).

Good Things do Happen

Unfortunately, these days I actually have more ideas for blog posts than I have time to blog. But, I'd like to stay committed to the blog, at least one post a week, because it's just a useful process for me. A few good things have happened recently, and they couldn't have come at a better time.

First, a panel that I'd proposed for a conference this fall was accepted - yay! Even better, I've already got panelists, and I've already got my paper drafted. The best part is that this conference is the same conference I attended a few years ago, at which time my paper was solicited for publication by one of the co-editors of a really good journal in my field. I got his card, remember him, and I'm totally hoping to run into him again in the fall. My Grand Plan is to be able to say to him "Remember how I said that paper was part of a larger project? Well, it is: my dissertation. And it just so happens that I've got a chapter right here for your review should you like to take a look-see at it." Yes, a bit dramatic and wishful thinking of me, but I'm thinking ahead.

Second, I just had a fantastic meeting with my dissertation advisor! She liked the draft "chunk" I'd given her; she thinks I'm right on target in terms of progress on the diss; more importantly, she thinks my project is coming together "quite nicely." Alas, I am a complete slave to her approval and positive reinforcement. Truth is, I want to be her when I grow up.

In terms of the dissertation, though, I'm extremely insecure about my writing and my ideas, so I'm never really convinced that I'm doing good work until I hear "someone else" say that I am (not just anyone, of course). I've been stressing lately about just getting something down, getting some writing done, just to see if it's on the right track. I've got about 40 pages or so, which isn't much. It's nowhere near what I'd hoped to have done by now. But, I've realized that measuring my productivity in terms of how many pages I got done each day, week, month wasn't working for me anymore. After talking with my advisor, I've realized how unrealistic my goals were to begin with, and I've come up with a different strategy for measuring my progress. I also asked her if I could start coming in for more frequent meetings - every 3 weeks - which I think will help in terms of working out ideas more clearly before they hit the page and realizing the kinds of framework I have to provide for my readers (like I hadn't really thought out the differences in addressing the performance of dramatic works vs. addressing the text of published dramatic works; do I speak of viewers or readers?).

What I originally thought could be one chapter that would cover three early modern women writers is now becoming two (possibly three) chapters. A big difference considering I has hoping to have the chapter done by the end of the month --HA!

But I'm much more comfortable in the process now. I feel like as long as I'm researching for this chapter and staying focused on what else I may need to know to continue drafting, I'm doing pretty well.

I'm doing so well, I think I'm going to go to the gym. This is a desperately needed activity right now.Like, I won't wear shorts outside the house (except to the gym) - despite the fact that the heat index is 100 degrees - until the jiggly-bits of cottage cheese are eradicated from my legs. Seriously, my thighs have more hail damage than a used car lot, and it just shouldn't be this way. I'm not fat or anything, but I'm seriously out of shape. Enough body-hating for now. Enough dissertating for the week. If I'm ever going to take my daughters to the pool this summer, I've got to sweat away the dimples, so I'm off!